This is sheer brilliance by Ajith Fernando on anger:

Sometimes we hear people say, “He’s such a saint, he never gets angry.” This is because we have come to value an understanding of tolerance that is far from the Biblical lifestyle. True, in the past we may have seen upright religious people who were unpleasant to be around because they were always ranting and raving against evil. Nothing pleasant came from their lips. We must surely avoid this extreme, but we must also avoid the opposite extreme.

I have come to realize that my failure to get over wrong is a reflection of my fallenness rather than by godliness. I may have often sinned against my children but not expressing wrath concerning things in their lives that dishonored God. When we do not show anger against our children when they do wrong, we may be opening the door for serious insecurity in their lives. Unconsciously we may be sending them the message that their wrong actions are not serious enough to merit an angry response. that in turn communicates the idea that they are not significant to be taken seriously. Many children grow up to be delinquents, and through their wrong deeds try to grab the attention they were deprived of in their childhood.

 

Ajith Fernando,Acts (The NIV Application Commentary), 252-253

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